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User blog:JWarrior89/The Battle of the Criminally Insane: The Joker vs Professor Genki
Its time to pit two of the most dangerous psychopaths in Fiction against each other, and see who will win in this battle of the Criminally Insane: The Joker: The Clown Prince of Crime, who has wreaked havoc on Gotham City and made himself Batman's greatest foe... VS Professor Genki: The Super Murder Cat, who created his game to cause death and suffering in the city of Steelport... WHO IS DEADLIEST?! *This battle is a collab between myself and UndeadRVD. The Joker The Joker, real name unknown, is a homicidal maniac and the archenemy of Batman. Although his full origin is truly unknown, the Joker is known to have been forced to swim through a vat of chemicals which turned his skin white, his hair green, and left his face permanently locked in a double Glasgow Grin. Completely unpredictable with no regard for human life, the Joker finds murder and mayhem funny, and is perhaps the most dangerous man on New Earth with a body count stretching into the thousands, all centered around his obsession with destroying the Dark Knight. Weapons Melee: Crowbar *While not meant to be weapon, the Joker uses it like a club to beat and kill people. His most well use of it is when he beat the second Robin to near death and then blow up the building he and his mother were in. Close Range: Twin Revolvers *The Joker often uses these twin guns; one is a regular revolver, the other shoots harpoon "Bang!" flags. Mid Range: Tommy Gun *The Thompson submachine gun, or "Tommy Gun", is an old sub-machine gun that gained famed use from the Mafia back in the 20s. The Joker has made much use out of it. It uses .45 ACP rounds, has a mag size of 50 rounds and a range of 50 meters Long Range: TAR-21 *The TAR-21 that the Joker uses has a strange Sniper variant with a longer barrel and laser sight. It uses .50 calibre rounds, though the shear power of it may not be that great as it won't kill Batman in one hit. Its Range is around 1,600 meters and has around 6 rounds. Explosives: C4 and Dynamite *The Joker will be bringing C4 and Dynamite. C4 for the power. Dynamite for the Style. Special: Joker Venom *The Joker's favorite tool of mass murder is the Joker Venom. This deadly chemical concoction will kill anyone who breaths it and they die laughing and with a grin. **The venom will easily work on the Joker's thugs and Genki's Mascots. However, The Joker Venom may or may not effect Genki, as he is inhuman and has a strange biology. Professor Genki Genki is the creature host of Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax and Genkibowl VII. Despite his cute and cuddly appearance, Professor Genki is very sadistic and cruel at times, as he gains pleasure from the death and sacrifice of others and at one point during Genkibowl VII, Tammy states that he is known to ship people off to North Korean prison camps if they look him in the eye. Weapons Melee: The Penatrator *The Penetrator is a melee weapon constructed from a metre-long dildo attached to a handle of a baseball bat. Do not be stupefied by its appearance, it is deadly as a Baseball bat covered in railroad spikes and chains. The physics of the weapon seem to be that of a jelly dildo, as seen when attacking or running. Close Range: 45 Shepherd *The .45 Shepherd is a powerful, accurate, slow-firing firearm that is much more potent per-shot and much more accurate (at first) than the KA-1 Kobra favored by law enforcement. It holds 8 rounds, uses .45 ACP, and its heavy barrel ensures that it's extremely accurate (75 meters). Mid Range: TEK Z-10 *The TEK Z-10 is an accurate SMG used by the gangs of Steelport. Its performance is identical to the MP7, having a mag size of 40 rounds, uses HK 4.6×30mm rounds and has a range of 200 meters. Long Range: McManus 2015 *The McManus 2015 is a powerful sniper rifle based off the Barrett M82. It uses .50 calibre rounds, carries around 6 rounds and has great accuracy (1,800 meters). Explosive: Annihilator RPG *The Annihilator RPG is a powerful single-shot rocket launcher. It has great accuracy, packs a serous punch and can cause damage to multiple enemies to do to its blast radius. It functions identically to Airtronic RPG-7 USA. Special: Mollusk Launcher *The Mollusk Launcher is a bright weapon that fires live octopi at its targets. The octopi - which become attached to a target's head upon contact -have mind-controlling effects that, when fired at a human, will make them friendly, and if armed, even assist the user in combat. The octopi can also be detonated with a the same damage and blast radius of the Satchel Charge. X-Factors Joker vs Genki 90 Intelligence 97 Professor Genki was a renowned scientist before his transformation. In addition, he constructed a magical device to fuse him and his cat together. EDGE: GENKI 60 Strength 100 The Joker is not a champion fist fighter, nor is known for his physical strength. Professor Genki, on the other hand, is stated to be 5 times as strong as a normal enemy when unarmed. EDGE: GENKI 60 Endurance 120 The Joker is a normal man. Genki, on the other hand, is stated to have superhuman durability, even able to survive blows from the Apoca-fist, which reduces ordinary foes to a bloody pulp with one blow. EDGE: GENKI 100 Creativity 100 Both the Joker and Genki have highly effective and deadly weapons, including some creative ones like the Joker Venom and Mollusk Launcher. The Joker is constantly thinking up creative ways to kill Batman, and Genki created the Super Ethical Reality Climax, perhaps the most creative and warped game show in existence. EDGE: EVEN 100 Brutality 100 Both combatants are incredibly sadistic and cruel, delighting in pain, suffering, torture, and death. EDGE: EVEN 98 Tactics 75 Whenever Genki shows up on the streets of Steelport, he essentially runs around attacking people. The Joker is much more of a planner.' EDGE: JOKER' 100 Experience 80 Professor Genki, while occasionally engaging in a little mayhem outside of work, mainly operates his Super Ethical Reality Climax game show. The Joker has constantly engaged in combat with numerous foes, especially Batman. EDGE: JOKER 100 Death Escaping 100 Both Warriors have escaped death, and neither can seem to stay dead. EDGE: EVEN 60 Team Loyalty 100 The Thugs the Joker has are not very loyal. They only fight for money or other gains. The Mascots, on the other hand, are willing to die for Genki. EDGE: GENKI Facts Who: The Warriors The Joker will be joined by four thugs he has hired to help him out. Professor Genki will have four Mascots joining him. Where: The Battle Field The battle will take place in one of Professor Genki's very own Super Ethical Reality Climax arenas, filled with plenty of traps, fire, electricity and a lot of PAIN!!! Why: The Reason The Joker is the latest contestant on Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax game show. However, he's brought a few "friends" to make things interesting. A firefight breaks out between the Joker, his thugs, and Genki's mascots, with Professor Genki himself eventually getting involved. * Special thanks to Utter Noob for designing the title card! Battle "Welcome to Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax! Murder Time is Fun Time, right Bobby?" "You got it, Zach! If our contestants can survive the deadly traps, armed mascots, and those freakishly huge Hunters, they can win a hefty pile of cash!" "This game looks deadly... because it is! But its still probably safer than driving in Steelport!" "Our competitor isn't from Steelport this time Zach; today's guest comes all the way from the criminal underworld of Gotham City. Its the Clown Prince of Crime himself, The Joker! Let me tell you, Zach, this is one clown you do NOT want to perform at your kid's birthday party! Most clowns blow up balloons... this guy blows up hospitals! His idea of putting a smile on your face is to carve it there with a knife! He's reported to have a body count in the thousands!" "He kinda sounds like the Professor in that aspect, right Bobby?" "That's what I'm afraid of, Zach." "Well, lets sit back and see just how well this legendary psychopath fares against the hazards of the arena." ---- The doors to the arena slid open, and the Joker strode in, a Tommy Gun slung over his shoulder. Immediately he was met with deafening cheers and applause from the audience. "Thank you, thank you! You're too kind!" the Joker laughed. "Tell me, Steelport, do you want a show!?" The crowd cheered with approval. "All righty then!" the Joker grinned. Taking out a walkie-talkie from his pocket, he held it up to his mouth and turned it on. "Let's give 'em what they want, boys!" Almost immediately, there was a deafening smash as a school bus plowed its way through the wall of the arena. The door slid open, and four henchmen lept out, all wearing clown masks and brandishing weapons. "What can I say," the Joker laughed, "I always give the people what they want!" _______________________________________________________________________________________________ "What the-- The Joker's brought help, Bobby!" "You can always count on the Joker to not play by the rules, Zach." "Ordinarily, this would result in a disqualification, but there appears to be no word from the officials. It seems they are allowing the game to continue uninterrupted!" "That... or they're all dead..." _______________________________________________________________________________________________ Joker: 5 Genki: 5 "All right,boys," Joker cackled, "Let's have some fun!" As the crowd let out another ear-shattering cheer, the Joker and his four henchmen ran forward, weapons at the ready. As they round a corner, one of the henchmen is immediately gunned down by a Mascot wearing a dog suit. Joker: 4 Genki: 5 "And here I thought old 'batsy was the only lunatic who liked to dress up as an animal!" the Joker laughed, aiming his Tommy Gun and spraying the Mascot with bullets. 'Joker: 4' 'Genki: 4' As the Mascot fell to the floor, two more emerged from behind cover at the back of the room; one of them was wearing a purple gorilla suit, and the other was dressed as a giant hot dog. A third mascot, this one dressed as green bunny, appeared on the upper walkway above them. All three immediately opened fire, forcing the Joker and his thugs to scatter. One of the thugs, leaning out from behind cover, sprayed a barrage of bullets at the mascot on the upper walkway. The Mascot attempted to run, but one of the bullets caught him in the leg, causing him to stumble and fall to the ground below, breaking his neck. 'Joker: 4' 'Genki: 3' Laughing, the thug ran forward; however, as he attempted to move between a gap in the wall, a sudden burst of electricity shot out from both sides of the wall, frying him alive. 'Joker: 3' 'Genki: 3' The two remaining Mascots began advancing slowly, moving from cover to cover. The Joker ordered his two remaining thugs to move forward; as they did so, he moved off to the side. Rounding a corner, the thugs spotted one of the Mascots. They opened fire, but the Mascot managed to dive behind cover. As the thugs ran forward, the Mascot leaned out from behind the corner; at the same time, the other Mascot appeared from behind the thugs. Both of them fire simultaniously; the front thug is riddled with bullets, but the remaining thug manages to run down an adjacent pathway. 'Joker: 2' 'Genki: 3' "F*** this!" the thug cursed to himself, "I'm not getting paid enough to risk my life against these weirdos! I'm outta here!" He rounded a corner, barely avoiding a jet of flames that shot out from either side of him. Shaking his head in disbelief, he turned... only to find himself face to face with the Joker. "B-boss!" the thug gulped, "I was j-just..." "You weren't thinking of leaving early, were you?" the Joker grinned, "This party's just getting started!" _____________________________________________________________________________________________ The two remaining Mascots slowly advanced down the hallways, searching for the Joker and his thug. Suddenly, they heard what sounded like a loud thud from up ahead. Weapons at the ready, they rounded the corner... only to see the Joker's remaining thug lying on the ground. As they approached him, it became clear that he was dead. Joker: 1 Genki: 3 One of the Mascots suddenly nudged his partner and pointed at the thug's chest; pinned to the front of his shirt was what appeared to be a flower, which had definately not been there when the fight had started. Cautiously, the Mascot leaned down and plucked the flower from the thugs shirt. Holding it close to his face, he could see that it was artificial. Suddenly, there was a slight whining sound, and the flower began to spray forth a cloud of strange gas. The two Mascots were engulfed by the fumes; immediately they began to cough violently, which quickly changed into uncontrolable laughter. Both Mascots fell to the ground; as they did, the laughter quickly stopped. One of the Mascot's masks rolled off his head; the man's face was revealed to be stretched into a distorted grin. Joker: 1 Genki: 1 Behind them, the Joker leapt out from behind a wall. "Gotta be careful," he grinned, "its allergy season! Those flowers can be... killer!" He burst out into insane laughter. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ "Oh man, did you see that, Zach!?" "I sure did, Bobby; that would be the famous Joker Venom: that toxic gas has claimed the lives of countless victims." "And the crazy bastard killed his own man just to lay a trap for the Mascots!" "Ruthless, but effective; at least now the Joker won't have to worry about splitting his prize money 5 ways if he makes it to the end." "Somehow, I don't think he would have had to worry about that either way, Zach. The Joker isn't known for his ability to share." ______________________________________________________________________________________________ The Joker calmly strolled through the maze, stepping over the corpses of thug and Mascot alike. Eventually, he came across an opening; at the other end of the room, he could see the exit door, on the other side of which lay his prize money. "Time for this clown to get paid!" he cackled. He began to dash for the door; suddenly, a burst of gunfire came from above him, striking the ground at his feet and causing him to stop. "You expect me to stand here and take that s***?" a voice asked. The Joker turned around and looked upward; standing on the upper walkway was what appeared to be a giant pink cat wearing a lab coat, aiming a TEK Z-10 submachine gun. "You challenge Professor Genki?" he says, "Fear the Super Murder Cat!" "Well, well, well," the Joker says, "it looks like the cat's out of the bag!" Laughing again, he aims his Tommy Gun and fires, forcing Genki to seek cover. "That almost got my fur!" Genki calls out. Dropping his SMG, he grabs an Annihilator RPG leaning against the wall. Running over to the edge of the walkway, he aims it at the Joker. "Murder Time Fun Time!" he yells, firing a rocket. The Joker drops his Tommy Gun and dives back into the maze; the rocket slams into the ground behind him, leaving a scorched hole in the ground. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ "I don't believe it, Zach! Professor Genki himself has entered the arena!" "Indeed, Bobby! It appears that the Professor wants to test the Joker's abilities himself!" "I guess that's what happens when you bring in a contestant that's as crazy... er, outrageous as he is!" "I just hope they can keep their fighting within the arena. Can you imagine the chaos it this somehow spilled out onto the streets? It would make the STAG occupation of Steelport look like a picnic!" _____________________________________________________________________________________________ Professor Genki tossed aside his RPG and grabbed a McManus 2015 sniper rifle. Peering through the scope, he began to scan the maze below, looking for the Joker. Hearing a noise behind him, he swung the rifle around, catching a glimpse of green hair. He fired, but the round bounced harmlessly against the wall as the Joker dipped out of sight. Genki continued to search the area, looking in the general direction the Joker had appeared to retreat to. Suddenly, a loud explosion behind him made him swing around; a cloud of dust was rising near the back wall of the arena. Genki scanned the area through his scope, but the Joker was nowhere in sight. A few seconds later, he heard a soft clatter next to him, along with a soft hissing ''sound. He glanced down to see a lit stick of dynamite near his foot. "Run away! Run away!" he yelled, as he turned and began to run down the walkway. Before he had gotten ten feet, however, the dynamite exploded, throwing him over the railing onto the floor below. As he lay on the ground, dazed, he heard the sound of cackling laughter. "C4 and dynamite... quite the ''explosive combination!" he laughed, hopping out from around a corner, "I usually use C4 for blowing up buildings, but it can also be quite the distraction! So much that you don't even notice a man tossing lit dynamite ''at you! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!" As Genki struggled to his feet, the Joker pulled out his TAR-21 and opened fire. The Professor barely managed to avoid the bullets by leaping for cover, as a wodden sign with a panda on it shattered behind him. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ ''"Ouch! That's gonna hurt the Joker's score, Bobby!" "You got that right, Zach! Nobody likes it when you shoot a panda!" ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Professor Genki drew a .45 Shepherd and fired at the Joker, who ducked back behind the wall as he attempted to reload. As he did so, he heard a clicking sound that meant Genki had emptied his clip. A second later, he heard the clatter as the weapon was tossed on the ground. Grinning, the Joker leapt out and aimed his gun... only to stop dead. Genki was holding what appeared to be an enormous purple dildo on a handle. For a second, both warriors just stared at each other. Then, the Joker burst out laughing. He doubled over, clutching his sides. He was abruptly cut off as Genki slammed the weapon across his face, causing him to drop his gun. Before he had time to react, Genki struck him again, and again. The Joker tried to react, but each time he tried to make a move, he was struck with the force of a baseball bat by the floppy purple instrument. With one final, heavy swing, the Joker was smashed into a wall, blood trickling from his nose and mouth as he slid to the floor. "And now, you die." Professor Genki said, as he slowly approached the Joker, holding the Penetrator above his head. Suddenly, the Joker's head snapped up; looking Genki straight in the eyes, he pulled out a revolver from his pocket and pointed it right at the cat's face. Genki stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the gun in the Joker's hands. The Joker laughed, and pulled the trigger. *Pop!* Instead of a bullet, a small flag with the word BANG! on it popped out of the revolver. Genki stared at it for a moment. "Try harder if you want me to give up!" he laughed. "Well, you know what they say," the Joker said, grinning, "there's more than one way to skin a cat!" He pulled the trigger again, and the flag fired out of the barrel of his gun, plunging stright into Genki's left eye. The Professor yelled in pain, stumbling backward and dropping the Penetrator. Leaping to his feet, the Joker pulled out a crowbar and ran at Genki. With a gleeful yell, he swung the crowbar downward, connecting with Genki's forehead. Again and again, he struck the cat, even after Genki had dropped to the ground. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ "Oh man, this isn't looking good for Professor Genki, Zach!" "Could... could this be the final Climax for our maniacal host, Zach?" _____________________________________________________________________________________________ The Joker struck Genki several more times with the crowbar, then stopped. The Professor lay there, not moving. After a few moments, the Joker began to laugh. Giving one last kick to the cat, he stepped over him and began to walk toward the door, which opened to reveal mounds of cash just waiting for him to claim it. Suddenly, a noise behind him made him turn back; Professor Genki had struggled to his knees, and was aiming what appeared to be a colorful bazooka at him. With a BANG!, he fired what appeared to be a live Mollusk at the Joker. "What the-!?" The Joker called out, before the Mollusk clamped onto his face. As the Joker struggled to pull it off, Genki, grinning, pressed a button on the Mollusk Launcher. Immediately, the Mollusk exploded, vaporizing the Joker's head in a red spray of blood. The Clown Prince of Crime crumpled to the floor, dead. "Quiet time can be fun time, too..." Genki muttered weakly. Turning to one of the cameras on the wall, he managed one final smile. "Remember kids," he said, "its fun to kill." With that, the Super Murder Cat slumped to the floor, and lay still. WINNER: Draw. Category:Blog posts